Gay Update

Good morning!

I figured I would use this blog post to arrange how I feel about my gender and sex identity, both for whoever reads this and for myself. This isn't set in stone, and it shouldn't be for anyone: people should be open to exploring who they are and who they like, because being comfortable in your own skin and loving who you want to love are crucial for happiness!

I've “known” that I was bisexual since... about mid-2019?

I check google photos, move it to June 2019, and see exactly the place and time I'm thinking about...

Oh yeah, definitely. I would have been 15 then, 16 in a couple months. I say “knew”, in quotes, because I wasn't certain until I started becoming closer friends with this one dude, let's call him Will. We didn't wind up becoming anything more than friends because, I was too uncertain about myself at the time about how he would react, especially since his family was mega-conservative. But I definitely had a huge crush on this guy for a good while. I told him I was bi about a year after the last time I saw him, over Whatsapp.

Sexual Identity is stereotypically the “easy” part, between Gender and Sex identity, I'm still kinda working it out.

I don't think I'm cis. I am pretty sure that I'm something along the lines of a gender-nonconforming male, because my sister said that and it sounded right. I don't really identify with masculinity, and in a group of guys or a group of girls I don't really feel 100% like everyone else in the group. I don't know if that's the best indicator, but in a group of both males and females I don't feel like I'm “one” with the group. I like looking adrogenous, I like wearing my towel like a dress after I shower, but I also like wearing shorts and doing crazy shit, I like both guy and girl things.

I did think for a little bit that I was genderfluid, and I still have that open as a possibility. I think that also could have been an excuse for me to explore it a little more instead of “choosing” something, but now I suppose I'm just more open to changing it I suppose. And not every genderfluid person is going to be like that, I'm not invalidating anyone who currently identifies as genderfluid, this is just my own experience.

Conclusion: I'm just a big mess of everything.

See y'all tomorrow, Robot Landscape